God's Help (a poem I wrote when I was 16) 

Sometimes I'm scared and very afraid, 

Sometimes I worry and question these days. 

I thought I was strong, but I'm actually insecure, 

I thought I was wonderful, superior, and sure. 

I was decieved, only decieving myself, 

Thinking I could do it with no one else. 

But why did I think i could do it alone? 

Why did I show only what I thought should be shown? 

What do they see when they look in my eyes? 

Do they see the true me or do they see all the lies? 

I can't believe I'm actually saying these words, 

When others say them they sound so absurd. 

How can I show truth, when they've seen lies for so long? 

I feel so weak, not a little bit strong. 

I want to be stronger, but it's holding me back, 

"It" is the confidence I seemingly lack. 

I know it's embedded deep within my soul, 

I want it to shine, to shine bright as a whole. 

I want it to be easy, but it feels so rough. 

I hold it inside because I'm trying to be tough. 

Sometimes I feel I've forced myself, 

to be happy inside though that's not how I felt. 

When will I learn to stop doing it myself? 

Maybe that's the problem...I'm doing it myself. 

When will I learn to start letting go? 

And rely on the One who can rescue my soul? 

I know I can be happy, but I HAVE to let go. 

I can't do this alone, I need God's help.

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